literature

Never Easy

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gridtakno's avatar
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Published:
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Literature Text

Take this key, I don't offer lightly..
For it, with your hands; my heart to unlock
I couldn't promise everything; but try is what I could do.
It's been awhile since I felt this way,
The need to be someone's knight; their foundation on which to stand.

Couple
    Weeks
          Later

I'm still here; each day is new, battling your self esteem, your guilt.
Always the same problem, never the same fight.
I've adapted to you, a survival instinct I guess.
Are we making progress? Am I helping at all?

One
   Month
       Later

A new issue arises, an unusual amount of affection; tugging and pulling at me.
Wanting me to hold you, cuddle you, lay with you; I accept and do what I've promised.
My promise: to give my all to help, to never leave you alone; be there always when needed.

Second
    Month's
         Passing

I'm starting to feel trapped: between truth and lies.
The affection has caused me to grow new feelings for you.
When asked upon, nothing but denial; as if you treat everyone the same.
Even if true, you shouldn't; no man out there would every truly accept that as just friends.
We are not toys; objects that wait around for your pleasurable whims.

Third
     Months
          Arrival

We've fallen into the same cycle, why is it I can't break free;
We talk of the lines that shouldn't be crossed,
Yet we keep crossing them.
I keep saying I know that my feelings are stronger than yours; your feelings aren't as strong, and I get that.
Your importance is of a magnitude unexplainable in words; you turn and tell me that I'm equally as important, equally as important to you.
That makes no sense, trapped in confusion: confusion from an addiction.
An addiction to your love: a starving dog, just enough scraps tossed to me to keep me loyal; yet never fully sated.
Are you afraid of what might happen?
I'm afraid of what might happen, the possibilities.

Fourth
   Month
             Is
               Here

What am I to do?
My promise keeps me here, keeps me loyal; love binds that promise.
I can't break free from it; seemingly obsessed now, a need to fulfill my contract; dependent on hearing from you.
What have I become?
What have I sacrificed?
You never truly need to know, for what does it matter being so far away: a simple push of a button and I never existed.
I'm done now, but I can't go; my goodbye isn't even full hearted, I still remain behind.
I'm just done talking; our story that we have created isn't over yet.
I'm constantly fighting, and I'm tired.
I want you to fight, to fight for me; For once, somebody fight for me, and pull me out of this darkness I have created...
I'm done talking to everyone. Don't worry I'm still here for now. Just not talking like normal. Poem 30 of 30 for NaPoWriMo
:iconnapowrimo:
© 2017 - 2024 gridtakno
Comments1
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TheseWingsofDarkness's avatar
Huggle! 
This poem is really sad yet beautiful.
Hug